Monday, February 16, 2015

Adoption Update: A desire fulfilled is a tree of life!

When I wrote my last blog post in September, I never would have dreamed that we would be where we are today. I didn't see this coming at all. Truly the Lord has done above and beyond what I could have imagined (Ephesians 3:20-21)!

Jon and I are now parents to a beautiful little boy. We have a son! I still feel like pinching myself some days to make sure this is real!

We are in love. 

It feels so surreal that this little one that we have prayed for and hoped for and longed for and waited for is actually here! Now here I am cuddling and caring for one of the children I've only dreamed about for so long... one of my own, this child that I've been praying for and aching for for years - ever since the desire to adopt was birthed in me. I didn't know how old he'd be or when he'd join our family, I didn't even know he'd be a he! But I've been waiting all along for this precious boy.... this little dude with the cutest fingers and toes and an adorable smile... with a name and a personality and a story all his own. All along our good God had planned this out... that our stories would intersect and Maddox would become a part of our family.

To think that while I was grieving back in August over the children we had hoped would become ours, God knew (see blog post here). I couldn't see what He was doing, but He knows the beginning from the end of every situation, and all along He had planned for this little guy to become Maddox John Ryttersgaard.

We gave him the middle name "John" because it means "YAHWEH has been gracious", and we see God's grace so clearly in orchestrating this adoption. The Lord has truly been gracious to us in giving us Maddox, and we see His grace at work this little one's life in so many ways as well (that are his to tell someday).

When I wrote my last post about motherhood in September (you can read it here if interested), I had really made peace with the fact that we might not be growing our nuclear family as soon as I had hoped. I wrestled a lot internally, but through the disappointment of not being chosen to be the adoptive parents of those children in the Summer, God reminded me of my true hope - the Hope that is never deferred. I think I really needed that re-orientation. It's good and right to want children, and for Jon and me to desire to adopt, but even good things can become bad things when we want them ultimately. And I think I had got to that point with the adoption process. Having a family through adoption had become my idol, and it needed to be de-throned.

I am reading a book now by Gloria Furman called "Treasuring Christ when your hands are full", and in it she says this:

It is possible that deeds done in the name of love for a child can be exhibitions of how our hearts are like idol factories. I shudder to think of how often I... exalt my children to the position of God. I make much of my children... and I make little of God... 

My children, although they probably can't articulate it yet, are relieved that when I treasure Jesus, they are freed from the burden of being the center of my world. No child should have to shoulder the weight of [his] mother's glory and reputation. 

Every mother can be freed from seeking her own glory as she loves her children for the sake of Jesus' name being made famous among the nations...

Treasuring Christ as preeminent in our lives gives our children a self-sacrificing, neighbour-serving, sin-forgiving, grace-extending illustration of how God is worthy to be seen, admired, and displayed as the greatest hope we could ever have.

This is what I needed to be reminded of back in August, and what I need to always remember now that I am a Mommy.

The whole of Proverbs 13:12 reads: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life" and that really is true! I am so happy and thankful to be a Mom now, and I love it every bit as much as I thought I would! A desire fulfilled really is a tree of life!

Yet, there is a Hope that is bigger than our hopes for things here on earth... for children, or recognition, or relationships, or money, or good health, or approval, or possessions, or *place the thing you want most here*. There is a Hope that is NEVER deferred... a Hope that I have capitalized because He is the ultimate Hope.

My life is meant to make much of JESUS. Not much of myself, nor much of my children. Jesus really is our Treasure and the greatest Hope we could ever have! May those who profess to believe this, as Christians, live more and more in light of this reality. And, by God's grace, may those who don't believe, come to see Jesus Christ as the Treasure that He is and place all their hope in the Lord.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)


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