Adoption Finalized! - Delighting in the Providence of God

The last 6 months have been challenging, with much transition happening all at once - hence the absence of posts on this blog! But this past weekend God answered our prayers in such an amazing way that I just HAD to write a post about it! First a little summary of the last six months:

In March, Jon started a new job about a 2 hour commute from our home. We decided that, for a season, this was the best decision for our family. However, it meant that we were apart during the week, only seeing each other on weekends, which was very difficult. Add to that adjusting to being a Mommy full-time, selling our house, planning to move, finding an apartment in a new city, working towards finalizing Max's adoption, downsizing to move from our 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom apartment, saying goodbye to our church family at The Gathering and hello to our new family at Covenant Baptist Church, plus packing with a toddler underfoot, and the last few months have been busy and emotional and stretching, to say the least!  In the midst of all of this, the Lord providentially worked out the sale of our house while simultaneously providing the perfect apartment for us to move into (that story could be in a post all its own!), and last Thursday our house sale closed and we moved straight into our new two bedroom apartment - AMAZING! The apartment is really cute too - we are loving it here already!

Anyway, here's where things get pretty mind-blowing.  Jon and I had been preparing ourselves for more separation, since Maddox and I needed to reside in the same jurisdiction as our home until the adoption was finalized, in order to complete the process with the same agency. We had set it all up for me and Maddox to stay with friends in the area, so the plan was to move into our new apartment as a family this past weekend, and then for Maddox and I to head back on August 9th and stay with these friends until the adoption was finalized. We would be there during the week and then at our new apartment, with Jon, on the weekends. Lots of driving back and forth! Anyway, last Wednesday evening, the night before our big move, our Children's Aid Society (CAS) worker came for a short visit. She told us that it was looking like it would be a while before the adoption would be finalized. She said that we had reached the last stage of the process and our case was out of CAS's hands and on the Judge's desk, but now we would have to wait until the Judge got around to reviewing it and signing off on the adoption, and that could (and would most likely) take up to a month. I remember telling her that night that we would continue to pray about it and trust the Lord because the timing was in His hands, and I really meant it. I was fine if we stayed with our friends and had a continued season of separation if that was the Lord's will, although if it came through and we could be together as a family sooner, I would have been thrilled! But last week that sounded highly unlikely, if not impossible, after talking with our worker.

Well, what happened on the Thursday of our move reinforced just how sovereign our God is, as Solomon describes in Proverbs 21:1 - The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He will. In our case, the Judge's hand was a stream of water in the hand of the Lord, and He turned it to sign our adoption papers sooner than any of us expected! As Jon was finishing up loading the moving truck at our house on Thursday morning, our CAS worker pulled into the driveway to incredulously break the news to him that the adoption was officially finalized!!! She had just heard and decided to drive over to tell us in person rather than phoning with the good news. Maddox was now legally and permanently what he has been since he came home on January 2nd - our beloved son! As much ours as if we had given birth to him. Jon cried in our driveway. Our worker cried. And as Jon introduced her as "our worker" to some of our friends who were helping him load the moving truck, she said "you mean former worker!" and smiled. Meanwhile, I was already at the new apartment, doing a bit of cleaning before all of our stuff arrived, and had no idea about any of this. My sweet hubby wanted to tell me the news himself and in person, so he kept it quiet all day (7 hours to be exact!) as we moved box after box with the help of our friends. Then, once the last box was brought in, just before dinner, he told me to sit down (which I was glad to do since my feet were aching!) and that he had some good news. The adoption was the last thing on my mind, so when he told me, I couldn't comprehend it at first - not after what our worker had said just the night before. I think I responded with a screeching, "WHAAAATT????!!!" Followed by laughter and tears, a few exclamations of "Praise the Lord!", and more laughter and tears. God is so gracious, blessing us far beyond what we deserve!

Our boy - Photo cred: Chance Faulkner Photography

A week later, I still find myself thinking I should start packing for Maddox and I to leave this coming Monday, and then I remember that we don't have to! We get to stay together now and we are officially a family forever! My heart is so happy! :) All weekend as we settled in, and as I thought about the adoption being finalized and looked around at our new nest, I kept thinking about this line from Psalm 16:6 - The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. Added to this was Psalm 127 that our friend and pastor, Chris, read for family worship at his house right after we received the news: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! (v.3-5a)

We are so happy and thankful to have sweet Maddox John as the first "arrow" in our "quiver"! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! 







 "Forever Family" Photo credit

Adoption Update: A desire fulfilled is a tree of life!

When I wrote my last blog post in September, I never would have dreamed that we would be where we are today. I didn't see this coming at all. Truly the Lord has done above and beyond what I could have imagined (Ephesians 3:20-21)!

Jon and I are now parents to a beautiful little boy. We have a son! I still feel like pinching myself some days to make sure this is real!

We are in love. 

It feels so surreal that this little one that we have prayed for and hoped for and longed for and waited for is actually here! Now here I am cuddling and caring for one of the children I've only dreamed about for so long... one of my own, this child that I've been praying for and aching for for years - ever since the desire to adopt was birthed in me. I didn't know how old he'd be or when he'd join our family, I didn't even know he'd be a he! But I've been waiting all along for this precious boy.... this little dude with the cutest fingers and toes and an adorable smile... with a name and a personality and a story all his own. All along our good God had planned this out... that our stories would intersect and Maddox would become a part of our family.

To think that while I was grieving back in August over the children we had hoped would become ours, God knew (see blog post here). I couldn't see what He was doing, but He knows the beginning from the end of every situation, and all along He had planned for this little guy to become Maddox John Ryttersgaard.

We gave him the middle name "John" because it means "YAHWEH has been gracious", and we see God's grace so clearly in orchestrating this adoption. The Lord has truly been gracious to us in giving us Maddox, and we see His grace at work this little one's life in so many ways as well (that are his to tell someday).

When I wrote my last post about motherhood in September (you can read it here if interested), I had really made peace with the fact that we might not be growing our nuclear family as soon as I had hoped. I wrestled a lot internally, but through the disappointment of not being chosen to be the adoptive parents of those children in the Summer, God reminded me of my true hope - the Hope that is never deferred. I think I really needed that re-orientation. It's good and right to want children, and for Jon and me to desire to adopt, but even good things can become bad things when we want them ultimately. And I think I had got to that point with the adoption process. Having a family through adoption had become my idol, and it needed to be de-throned.

I am reading a book now by Gloria Furman called "Treasuring Christ when your hands are full", and in it she says this:

It is possible that deeds done in the name of love for a child can be exhibitions of how our hearts are like idol factories. I shudder to think of how often I... exalt my children to the position of God. I make much of my children... and I make little of God... 

My children, although they probably can't articulate it yet, are relieved that when I treasure Jesus, they are freed from the burden of being the center of my world. No child should have to shoulder the weight of [his] mother's glory and reputation. 

Every mother can be freed from seeking her own glory as she loves her children for the sake of Jesus' name being made famous among the nations...

Treasuring Christ as preeminent in our lives gives our children a self-sacrificing, neighbour-serving, sin-forgiving, grace-extending illustration of how God is worthy to be seen, admired, and displayed as the greatest hope we could ever have.

This is what I needed to be reminded of back in August, and what I need to always remember now that I am a Mommy.

The whole of Proverbs 13:12 reads: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life" and that really is true! I am so happy and thankful to be a Mom now, and I love it every bit as much as I thought I would! A desire fulfilled really is a tree of life!

Yet, there is a Hope that is bigger than our hopes for things here on earth... for children, or recognition, or relationships, or money, or good health, or approval, or possessions, or *place the thing you want most here*. There is a Hope that is NEVER deferred... a Hope that I have capitalized because He is the ultimate Hope.

My life is meant to make much of JESUS. Not much of myself, nor much of my children. Jesus really is our Treasure and the greatest Hope we could ever have! May those who profess to believe this, as Christians, live more and more in light of this reality. And, by God's grace, may those who don't believe, come to see Jesus Christ as the Treasure that He is and place all their hope in the Lord.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)